Ignored 35: When skits went indie

#ignored35

“The 50 Greatest Hip-Hop Skits list” from Complex Magazine is a good read and helps shine a light on the (mercifully) dying art of the hip-hop skit.

Wikipedia defines a hip-hop skit (ed. I seriously LOVE that’s there’s an entry for this) as “a form of sketch comedy that appears on a hip hop album or mixtape, and is usually written and performed by the artists themselves. Skits can appear on albums or mixtapes as individual tracks, or at the beginning or end of a song. Some skits are part of concept albums and contribute to an album’s concept. Skits also occasionally appear on albums of other genres. The hip-hop skit was more or less pioneered by De La Soul and their producer Prince Paul who incorporated many skits on their 1989 debut album 3 Feet High and Rising.”

A fair definition but clearly not every hip-hop skit was trying to be “funny ha ha”. Some were sending a harsh message (i.e. N.W.A. sings “Message to BA”). Others were semi-scary glimpses into domestic violence and violence violence (i.e. the Notorious B.I.G. sings “Intro”). Others still spawn catchphrases that would go on to dominate UrbanDictionnary.com (i.e. Dr. Dre sings “Deeez Nuuuts” ).

As the popularity of the full-length album has largely died, the prevalence of hip-hop skits in the culture is likewise on life support. If you need further proof, check out this BBM conversation between me and my friend Ryan on the topic.

This is some #realtalk right here!

ryan

So since “the hip-hop skit” era is a thing of the past (more proof from The Onion A/V Club), here is a companion piece of sorts to the Complex Top 50. Except instead of hip-hop, this is indie rock and instead of 50, it’s five. Since middle-class college kids apparently like to make the odd skit too.

Honourable mention: Bright Eyes and Godspeed You! Black Emperor who often incorporate bits of spoken word into their songs w/o getting too skit-y.

1. The Pixies sing “You Fuckin’ Die…!”

A bit confusing since it’s only a standalone (track 11) on certain CD pressings of Surfer Rosa, “YFD” is nevertheless a landmark track in the annals of indie rock skits. I guess. It’s not overly clear what Black Francis is getting at with his f-bomb assaults but it appears it’s an imitation of Kim Deal and how she reacts when “somebody touches her stuff”. Yup, seems like a healthy band dynamic! Between this skit, the topless lady on the album cover and the weird lyrics about UFOs and physical harm, it’s no wonder the Pixies found an audience amongst those who like some guts and macabre served alongside their poppy hard rock.

2. Sonic Youth sings “Providence”

I suppose this technically could be considered a song because a spooky Jandek-ish piano track that is present through out. However, the core of this “skit” is Mike Watt’s voice mail for Thurston Moore, admonishing him for (I think) drugs and how forgetful he becomes while on drugs. There’s an interesting father-son dynamic here, which is double-interesting since Watt’s only about half a year older than Moore. A throwaway of sorts but given it’s placement within the track list of the epic Daydream Nation full-length, “Providence” does serve as a reminder of the more experimental (vague?) side that Sonic Youth had started shedding by the late 1980s.

3. Beck sings “11.6.45”

This is probably the least surprising artist on the list since Beck took many early cues from hip-hop. And folk. And “power electronics” (not really). And television. And fast food. Flipside was primarily a fanzine but also released some music, including the “soooooo random” 1994’s Beck effort Stereopathetic Soulmanure. The album predated his commercial breakthrough Mellow Gold by a week and a bit, and contains a whopping 25 tracks. Some of these were music and some of these were not. In terms of the “nots”, you have some noise bursts, live weirdness and wonky vocal recordings. “11.6.45” is my personal favourite and features a sped-up voice mail talking about playing Pac-Man in 1945 and a Sasquatch eating a burrito. Heavy commentary on the Clinton regime, no doubt.

4. The Bourbon Tabernacle Choir sings “Happy Earth Day, Tortoise”

Tortoise was a dude friend of the under-remembered Toronto indie/funk/R&B outfit the Bourbon Tabernacle Choir. He played on a few recordings and we can assume, was a roommate of band member “not that Chris Brown”. This track features Mama Brown calling up a house at 50 Palmerston Gardens, briefly performing a Weird Al-ish tune “Happy Earth Day to You” and asking Tortoise about what time the band would be playing at Toronto City Hall for Earth Day. Tortoise sounds out of it and Mama Brown sounds frustrated. Turns out the band was playing at 3:00pm. The track can been found on the Bourbon’s out-of-print 1985-1995 collection, which pops up on eBay at times.

5. Built to Spill sings “Preview”

“Preview” goes with a fake infomercial motif and closes out BTS’s sophomore There’s Nothing Wrong with Love effort. I think I’m not alone in having always wanted to hear the full versions of the five fake (real?) songs featured on this fake Built to Spill album. Wikipedia called the skit “satirical” although it’s a bit unclear what this is supposed to be a satire of. Maybe a K-tel commercial? This Amazon review says it “pokes a little fun at the mainstream punk scene and modern rock radio”. This Amazon review says it is “hilarious”. I’m not sure it’s either but it’s strangely not out-of-place either.

Ignored 15: Antisocial networking

Ignored15

Fake musicians on social media platforms is nothing new.

Fake Paul Anka has 400+ followers on Twitter while fake “official” Madonna has 2,900+. Fake A$AP Ferg has a terrible “real” Facebook page. This Bon Iver Tumblr page is less “fake” and more “meh”.

Overall, this practice is a whole lot of rubbish.

Sadly. popular professional networking tool LinkedIn (the self-proclaimed “world’s largest professional network“) is not immune to this nonsense.

Frankly, the only thing more ridiculous than creating a fake LinkedIn profile for your favourite musician is creating a blog post that summarizes a bunch of these, gives them a score out of 10 and then ranks them.

Anyway…

Eddie Vedder
Singer en Pearl Jam
Chile – Entertainment
http://cl.linkedin.com/pub/eddie-vedder/17/530/638/fr
Rating: 7/10
Comments: I love this fake profile! Namely because it’s clearly some random dude in Chile who spent all of five seconds creating this and never thinking of it again. This lack of commitment is incredible, even by Internet standards. Big moment!

Elvis Costello
Self made man at Self-Employed Freelance Technical Writer
London, Greater London, United Kingdom (London, United Kingdom) – Writing and Editing
http://uk.linkedin.com/pub/elvis-costello/5b/3b8/710
Rating: 6/10
Comments: I like the assertion that Costello is a “self made man”. Not much else here but that piece is solid.
Viewers of this profile also viewed: 3x fake Iggy Pops, PJ Harvey, Tom Waits (‘experienced entertainer’), Damien Rice

Elvis Presley
Butt Doctor at Phil McCrackin, Ass Specalist
Dwight, Ontario, Canada (Ontario, Canada) – Alternative Medicine
http://ca.linkedin.com/pub/elvis-presley/60/89a/6b0
Rating: 9/10
Comments: There’s a lot to like here and the culprit assumedly lived in Wisconsin based on the “Also viewed” section. Just a really strong effort all around with a nice blend of 5th grade humour and smarts.
Viewer of this profile also viewed: The Mayor of Milwaukee

GG Allin
Worker at Lisbon Seafood
Tiverton, Rhode Island (Providence, Rhode Island Area) – Wholesale
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/gg-allin/51/963/731
Rating: 3/10
Comments: Not much to work with here but either way, the notion of GG Allin/”GG Allin” working with food makes me want to avoid Lisbon Seafood, if possible. Y’know, that thing he did with the banana et all…

Kendrick Lamar
Recording Artist at Top Dawg, Aftermath & Interscope
Compton, California (Greater Los Angeles Area) – Music
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/kendrick-lamar/63/517/b67
Rating: 8/10
Comments: Assume this is a fake but at least the faker took the time to include actual social media links and plenty of factual whatnot. Shows commitment to the craft!
Viewers of this profile also viewed: Dr. Dre, J Cole, Nicki Minaj, Snoop Dogg, Kanye West

Mike Reno
Independent Entertainment Professional
Vancouver, Canada Area – Entertainment
http://ca.linkedin.com/pub/mike-reno/4/1b0/288
Rating: 5/10
Comments: Uh… I’m not entirely convinced this isn’t the REAL Mike Reno. So no further comments…

Nate Dogg
Badass
Cambridge, Ontario, Canada (Kitchener, Canada Area) – Automotive
http://ca.linkedin.com/pub/nate-dogg/6a/6/6b3
Rating: 10/10
Comments: Now THIS is a fake LinkedIn profile!!! In essence (and in our hearts), the late Nate Dogg is a professional “badass” who lives in Cambridge and works in the automotive industry. A real prime example of stupidity on the Internet!

Slim Shady
Rapper
Beverly Hills, California  (Greater Los Angeles Area) – Investment Management
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/slim-shady/50/268/51a
Rating: 0/10
Comments: Pointless.
Viewers of this profile also viewed:  Snoop Dogg, Kanye West, Nicki Minaj, 50 Cent, Lil’ Wayne

Snoop Dogg
Owner, Doggy Style Records
Greater Los Angeles Area – Music
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/snoop-dogg/3b/927/17b
Rating: 4/10
Comments: This is a bit of a “yes, and….???” propisition since it’s not funny yet largely accurate. You’re likely as polarized as I am.
Viewers of this profile also viewed: Nicki Minaj, Lil’ Wayne, Kanye West, Beyonce Knowles, 50 Cent, Pharrell Williams, Wiz Khalifa

Stephen Malkmus
Musician at Pavement
London, United Kingdom – Human Resources
http://uk.linkedin.com/pub/stephen-malkmus/26/71/798
Rating: 1/10
Comments:  This is weak stuff. A stingy zero connections, Malk never lived in the UK and working in Human Resources is neither funnny nor remotely.
Viewer of this profile also viewed: All four members of “Sonic Youth”, Lou Barlow

To summarize…
1. Fake Nate Dogg
2. Fake Elvis Presley
3. Fake Kendrick Lamar
4. Fake Eddie Vedder
5. Fake Elvis Costello
6. Fake (real?) Mike Reno
7. Fake Snoop Dogg
8. Fake GG Allin
9. Fake Stephen Malkmus
10. Fake Eminem (also known as Slim Shady)